Five stars for this incredible, powerful, gut wrenching story....
“If only I had known that it takes more than love to make a marriage work, then maybe our story would be different.”
I really don't know where to start with my review and convey my feelings about this amazing story and fabulous writing.....I went through a range of emotions…..…at first I thought, ‘silly woman’ what are you doing???? I felt anger, disgust, (how could she??), my understanding developed and, with that, a great love for all 3 characters…..I felt sorrow, sadness, sympathy, so many feelings......it's had me in bits these last 2 days, I finished last night and it's still affecting me...I found it that powerful. I'm not going to tell you what happens....you'll have to read it for yourself but I'm going to explain what I think about this very emotive story.
"Ben makes colours seem brighter when he walks into a room, he makes my heart feel as if it wants out of my chest every time I see him or think of him. He makes my world spin."
The relationship and dynamic between husband and wife came across very clearly.
Ben & Cathy's romance is told by showing glimpses of their past...how they met when she was just 18 and he was 22, how they felt.....it gives a beauty to the story. They had an intense attraction to each other...it was all consuming, a forever kind of love and it felt so very real to me.....bought back my own feelings of when I met my one true love.....it made this story extra poignant and sad.
Ben is so nice, I loved him from the start, but him being so nice and perfect, in the face of their situation....drives Cathy mad....she needs more than, 'it will be ok'....because for her it may not be.....He thinks she's too negative......"....so I just don't talk to him about it anymore..."
He becomes a constant reminder of their situation.....making love becomes a means to an end….
"For you I will do anything. Anything." ~Ben
"Am I so desensitized to him....."
My heart was breaking for them......how can something so perfect and so right go so wrong??????
Face your fears and your issues.......COMMUNICATE......
Arsen is a young, rich man and used to getting what he wants.....
"He is danger."
She is attracted to him....
She knows it’s wrong .......they become friends, he lets her be who she needs to be...he doesn't judge her.....he provides her need for numbness.....
"He made me forget.”
I should have disliked him but I couldn't help but warm to him and love him which makes the story even more conflicting to read….....
"With one look, Arsen provides the warmth I didn't know I needed until this very moment. "Oh Dimples."
Arsen will not be for everyone, some people will hate Cathy’s character, I understand that......the blurb tells us clearly that cheating is the major theme in this story, it’s not pretty, in fact it’s downright ugly at times…...it emotes strong emotions and reactions..... The subject does not sit well with me, it's not an easy subject, but it's NOT black and white and that's life isn't it? We have to trust that in the end life will lead us to make the right choices for us, despite all the crazy shit it might throw at us.....and the right choice can be changeable and organic and not always palatable.
What we see in this book is a girl called Cathy living her own individual journey.... and, personally, I grew to love her.....I didn't love her decisions but I understood them, I could see her character had real motivation, I got her ....I feel a strong desire to defend her....the character development is amazing......the writing made me empathize with Cathy.....live her pain, her sadness, her emptiness, her disgust and devastation.....I felt it all. What she does is deplorable, there's no getting away from it, it can NOT be condoned...…she herself makes no excuses, hates herself but cannot stop the path she's on.
"A lying, cheating deceitful woman like me should suffer." ***And believe me she does***
"What is it like to have your heart ripped out when you can't have what nature was meant to provide?"
What would you do if there was something that would numb an unbearable pain, bring back the light…....would you take it, even if it meant sacrifice??
She has an all consuming fear and pain, she's in a dark reality......she's losing herself and it's affecting everything.....
How would you feel faced with a pain so raw?
"I want to not feel. Not one thing."
What would be your band aid, your tonic, your solace?
"Make me forget. Please, make me forget."
♥ Can you love two men at the same time?
This book also explores.....love and it's different forms, (is love enough?) fate, life choices, judgement and loss .....this book was a very special read.
It gave me answers…….…left questions……..sadness……left me wanting more.
I felt everything....…for all 3 characters, not just Cathy. All 3 of them are in my heart……in fact, truth be told, and having reflected on it for a couple of days, it's Ben who my tears flowed for the most, especially hearing his thoughts;
Ben and Arsen and that heart breaking, knife twisting epilogue completely messed with my head......utterly book-soul destroying......I need something more for him!!! You'll know who, if or when you've read the book!!I think this story is going to be with me for a while.....
"Love is infinite. There is no beginning and no end. There's no starting point and no finishing line. Love just is. Love is born, grows, matures, and sometimes it dies. But the memory will remain with you for the rest of your breathing hours. You fall in love, you fall out of love. But you will love again. You always do." ~ Cathy
♥ I would LOVE to see this story made into a film.
♥ Someone please make it so???
♥ It would be beautifully epic!!!
♥ Heartbreaking BR with B&D pinks ♥ Thank you for being there ladies....love Jxxx ♥